Vanilla Twilight<3

[mikkealaraineallen]

MIKKEALAR.
ALLEN

EVERYTHINGYOU
WANTEDTOKNOW
ANDMORE.

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[mikkealaraineallen]

DEARJOURNAL,

This is a letter I wrote to a friend after he died. I keep writing him these letters, but I know he'll never read them. But it keeps me together. So I write them.

Dear Kael,
Every day since that accident, I think of you. Not one day goes by without me seeing your face in my mind. Your caring, loving face. The one I'll only remember as a child's face. You were only eleven, a year older than me. We were best friends, remember? I do. We watched TV together and played hide-and-seek when we were little. You were my best friend. You still are. No one can replace you. No one at all. Not even Phoenix, whom I've grown very close to. But no, not even my brother can be as good a friend as you. We were ten and eleven and the best of friends. You were my only friend, and now that you're gone, I feel as if there's a hole in my heart. Even seven years later.
Seven years, Kael. That's how long you've been in that grave. Seven years without my best friend. Seven years. It's a long time, seven years. Seven years ago, on October 31, 2003, Halloween night, was the night you died. I had just been with you too. We had just finished trick-or-treating. I was a witch and you were a ghost. You were going home after dropping me off.
Why did that drunk driver have to hit your car? Why did the accident have to kill you? Why? Marie was lucky. She was at a friend's house with your dad. But your mom and you weren't as lucky, were you? WHY?! Why couldn't you say goodbye? Why didn't I understand where you went? Why did it take this long to finally become upset?
Why do I miss you so much?
I think that if you had lived, and we grew up together, I'd have loved you. I mean, I already did, but I mean, loved. Like fallen in love with you. You were that type of person, and we were those kind of friends. We were the kind of friends who grow up together and are inseperable and then fall in love by time we're sixteen.
But you would never see your sixteenth birthday. Or even your twelfth, for that matter. And for that, I am sorry. I wish I had known. I would have thrown you the party of a lifetime. I only wish I could celebrate your life the way I knew it then. But I'm too sad.
I'm too busy mourning.
I know you'd tell me to get off my butt and do what I love. And I still do! I still ski, and sing, and do everything else I've done. I'm even smiling agan. (It took me years to smile.) And I'm doing what I love. I just wish you were here to share these amazing moments with me.
I love you Kael, and I always will.
Love from,
Mikkeala

LOVE,MIKKI.