pancakes with a side of [sebastian]

[lily ellanore gravestone]

Sebastian's question was a good one, yet Lily was still unsure about what he was asking? Why was she always like what? What was he referring to? she wanted to ask him what he meant but she felt like right now would not be the best time for conversation. She was going to try and show him that she was learning from before when she had put things on a definite pause. She was going to keep her attention on him and she wasn't going to put the focus on her or God forbid Kaleb. She had definitley learned her lesson there. Most of the time, Lily thought that she was good at reading Sebastian, but now she had no clue what he was thinking. She could tell that he was still angry and that was fine by her, she was still angry with him as well. Lily looked down at her wrist as she felt his hand relax its hold. What did all of this mean right now? Were they back to normal or what? There still felt like there was some sort of tension between the two of them. Maybe there was just more fighting to come or maybe they were just going ot take their anger out on one another with what Lily had started. Sebastian hadn't pushed her off. He had't told her to get the hell out of his apartment. The lack of those phrases and ones similar to that made her think that this may have been part way over.

This had to be Lily's new favorite way of getting out any sort of pent up anger. Words were just useless and did nothing but cause more problems escalate things that didn't need to be escalated. Lily could tell by the way that she was pulled to him that he was still angry. She didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Sebastian had effectively clasped herself to him as he pushed his lips onto hers. His teeth grazing over bottom lip. The pressure on her back caused a popping noise. Even though it felt constraining and crushing, Lily liked being that close to Sebastian. She wasn't sure if comforting was the right word for what she was feeling at the moment, but she was pretty sure it was the closest she was going to get to finding the right word to describe what she was feeling at the moment. The English language was mainly rendered useless to Lily. She felt like there were some things that couldn't be explained by the meaningless words of the English language. People could so easily say one thing even though they meant something else and that they would end up doing something they said that they never did. Maybe that wasn't the fault of the English language though. Maybe it was just the fault of human beings and that was why she always had relationships with people that didn't mean a damn thing especially with most of the people that were in the world that she lived in who were mainly too concieted for their own damn good.

Lost in thoughts of am I mad am I not mad at the man who is currently underneath me on the couch, Lily barely even notice as Sebastian moved her limbs so that she had more stability as she hovered precariously over him. It wasn't until she felt the cool air on her stomach at she realized what he was doing. His palms felt the slightest bit rough from the winter season as they traveled up exploring her torso. Lily laughed a little as his hands tickled her sides. Crossing her hands over her chest, Lily finished the job for Sebastian and took her shirt off tossing it carelessly on the floor. Lily realized that fooling around, was something that they did quite often. Did they do this everytime they were around one another? It wasn't like they would mess around while at parties or anything like that but Lily really wondered if this was all they did or was this what they would ineveitably end up doing with one another. Was Sebastian only her friend for the sex? Had she deluded herself that one of her oldest and closest friends had liked her enough for her to be her friend or had she been fooled all these years and Sebastian had only befriended her for the sex and realized that if he continued to pretend to be her friend to only have sex with her. Of course not. No, she had more respect for Sebastian then to seriously entertain that thought.

Lily placed her palms flat on Sebastians chest and moved them up his torso. They fell and rose over his abs and pectorals. Reaching his shoulders, Lily softly pushed Sebastian's shirt off before kissing him again. Her lips pushing against his moving against him and slipping her tongue in his mouth moving against his tongue. Lily wanted to lose herself and she wanted to stop thinking about this. She didn't want to have to think about all the problems that could still be between her Sebastian. She just wanted to forget all of this. The best way to do that was to keep Sebastian thinking about what they were doing. Lily wanted to say something, anything. She wasn't used to not talking every once in a while, but she simply did not trust herself to say anything. She was afraid to upset him again. Lily's lips moved down Sebastian's throat and down the indent created by his muscles. Her hands moved down and across his ribs and rested on his hips before moving to his belt buckle. Lily quickly slipped the belt from his pants and tossing it to keep her shirt company. The buttons on his jean's was the next thing to be be undone. Her lips connected with his again as her fingers moved to the zipper an moved to push his jeans before she couldn't move them down anymore without having to move herself. Her hand moved up into his hair again keeping him close to her for once. "What do you want," Lily whispered in his ear. She had a bit of a playful tone in her voice but there was still evidence of the earlier frustration that would leave one to be that even if Sebastian told her what he wanted, that she wasn't going to give it to him.

status done
tagged sebastain
notes it's ok sorry for bugging you
outfit here
lyrics it ends tonight by all american rejects
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