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Post by drew adrian o'connel on Feb 12, 2010 0:58:24 GMT -5
Drew puffed on her cigarette, feeling slightly uncomfortable leaning on the wall. She stood up straight and began walking down the street again. Her? Change? Shit. "You were expecting me to change 'cause you left?" she said rather bitterly, trying not to sound slightly hurt by the other girl's words. Her stomach dropped ever-so slightly, hearing that Del had someone in her bed. Was she jealous? No, she couldn't be. Maybe she was just mad about it. Mad that she would deliberately mention it to make Drew jealous. "So, what the fuck do you want me to say?" Drew finally managed, feeling more irritated than anything at the moment. [/size]
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Post by delaware zelda meehan on Feb 12, 2010 1:07:00 GMT -5
Damn, this was quickly becoming the worst phone conversation of her life. Of course she hadn't expected Drew to change. Drew couldn't change, it was one of the reasons she left, one of the things she'd tried to fight and lost against. Well ok, she didn't fight that hard. She swallowed and stared at the brown bottle of warming liquid. "You don't have to say anything. You've said enough. I'm sorry I took time out of your nightly fuck so I'll let you go back to it." She would have hung up then, she really wanted to but she didn't. Instead she just stopped and let the tears finally come.
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Post by drew adrian o'connel on Feb 12, 2010 1:14:17 GMT -5
She didn't want to be mean. That wasn't her intention. But at the moment, Drew was sick of the bull and sick of darting around the truth. It was contradictory, she was hiding from her own feelings among other things. But she wasn't the problem. Drew was perfectly fine. Right? Pausing, she shook her head. "I'm actually walking home," she said, a little quieter than her normal voice. And then she heard the silence on the other end forming into slow tears. Shit. Shit shit shit. Drew paused on the street, crossing over to her apartment's parking lot after checking for the non-existent traffic. "I'm sorry," she allowed herself. [/size]
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Post by delaware zelda meehan on Feb 12, 2010 1:25:26 GMT -5
Well she was right, she knew she'd been with someone. And that really shouldn't hurt considering that even before Drew was always with someone besides her. And it wasn't like she was a saint either, she did have someone sleeping in her own bed. A frown crossed her lips. Wait, did Drew just apologize? Did she actually say she was sorry about something? About what? Drew never apologized. For anything. "What?" Del sniffed, thoroughly confused.
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Post by drew adrian o'connel on Feb 12, 2010 1:31:26 GMT -5
Apologizing for something wasn't really her thing. Drew rarely if ever apologized for what she did, because after all, she did what she wanted and rarely looked at regrets. Taking the final drag from her cigarette, she stubbed it out in the ashtray in front of her apartment door. "I said I'm sorry," she said. Drew didn't want to explain why she was sorry, because she was sorry for so much-- more than she cared to admit. She just wanted to say sorry. That was it. Was there an explanation needed? [/size]
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Post by delaware zelda meehan on Feb 12, 2010 1:40:45 GMT -5
'
Delaware closed her eyes as the 'S' word was repeated. And the best part was Drew didn't sound peeved about having to say it again. Del was quiet as she bit onto her lip to keep from falling into full blown tears. After several moments, when she trusted herself to speak, Del wiped the tears out from under her eyes. "Do you think of me at all?" she wasn't sure where the question had come from, but she was curious, and hoped that Drew wouldn't lie to her.
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Post by drew adrian o'connel on Feb 12, 2010 2:04:06 GMT -5
Thank god she didn't have to say it again. It was hard enough saying it a second time. Waiting for Delaware's next move, she entered the apartment, tossing her keys onto the table and walking into the living room, which probably wasn't the best place to be when she was talking to the girl on the other line. Drew lit herself another cigarette, and sat down on the couch, putting the smoke into the ashtray to singe. When the question arose about her thoughts, Drew's stomach again dipped. Fuck. "I do," she said softly, resting her head in one of her hands while her phone was still attached to her ear. [/size]
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Post by delaware zelda meehan on Feb 12, 2010 2:19:32 GMT -5
Del rested forward, placing an arm on the table and then her chin on her arm. She smiled as Drew admitted to thinking of her. It was good to know she wasn't entirely forgotten. She wanted to ask what she thought of and how often, but Del knew better than to pry into Drew like that. She'd only argue or something. "I, um... they've." she paused wondering if she should continue with the piece of info she had. "They've offered me a more permanent job in the company. If I accept I... I won't be coming back."
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Post by drew adrian o'connel on Feb 12, 2010 2:25:12 GMT -5
Silence was a typical thing when going through conversations like this. But the longer things drew out, the more sick she felt. She hated to admit that she'd been thinking about Delaware since she disappeared, even if it was just a little. In actual fact, Drew had been thinking about the other girl a lot more than she'd like to admit. She was grateful when no questions about it came her way, but the light at the end of the tunnel grew dimmer as Del spoke again. She swallowed, still hunched over, her hand now clutching bits of hair in her scalp. "Are you going to take it?" [/size]
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Post by delaware zelda meehan on Feb 12, 2010 2:38:00 GMT -5
Del closed her eyes as the quietness of the apartment surrounded her. She thought about Drew's question and sighed. "I don't know. I mean the pay is great, and the apartment is amazing. But it's..." She trailed off, thinking back to the girl in her bed and the countless clubs she'd been to in the past two months. "It's lonely," she finally concluded quietly. She was surrounded by everyone except the one person she wanted to be with. They might not have parted on good terms, but Del still thought of Drew as the best thing to come into her life.
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Post by drew adrian o'connel on Feb 12, 2010 2:43:18 GMT -5
It was quiet inside Drew's apartment as well. There was no TV running infomercials, no music coming from the stereo, she could barely even hear her own breathing. Leaning back into the couch, she took her cigarette, taking a drag and letting it hang loosely in her mouth. "It's lonely even though you just got done fucking a girl tonight?" Drew asked, feeling slightly bitter. How could she say that she was lonely? Shit, she didn't want to sound like that. When it really came down to it, she was lonely too. "I know," she said, voice becoming quiet again, sounding defeated. [/size]
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Post by delaware zelda meehan on Feb 12, 2010 2:56:57 GMT -5
Delaware was about to say she didn't even know the girls name but bit her tongue. She knew that Drew knew perfectly well what it was like to mess around with people but still feel lonely. It was weird but even when she wasn't around Drew, she didn't feel lonely when she was back at the hallow. And then now, talking to her on the phone just made her even more lonely. She reached over and picked up the beer. After a small swig she examined the bottle then chuckled a little. "It's funny. Sex brought us together and then tore us up." Ok, it wasn't really funny at all, but the truth amused her right then.
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Post by drew adrian o'connel on Feb 12, 2010 3:04:02 GMT -5
Sleeping with someone was one thing, but sleeping with a girlfriend, or even someone close was a whole different level. When Drew fucked a girl, she always made sure that the girl knew that she was probably going to leave after, and that there would be no breakfast in the morning. Having sex with someone different nearly every time she went out was fun, but it was no cure for loneliness. When she was with Del, things did seem a lot less lonely and a lot less messed up. Now that Del was gone, possibly forever, Drew felt as alone as ever. She laughed a little at the other girl's remark. "Well it's not really as funny as it is shitty," she said, taking a hit from her cigarette. [/size]
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Post by delaware zelda meehan on Feb 12, 2010 3:10:13 GMT -5
"Yeah, it is pretty shitty," Del responded. The whole situation sucked and all because she couldn't tell Drew how she felt. She could tell Drew how she felt, but it wouldn't make a damn difference, Drew wouldn't change. Not for her, not for anyone. She was too far set in her ways and Delaware wasn't the one to change her. She sighed. This sucked. "I'd do a few things differently if we could go back. Not the sex part... that talking about the sex part." She scrunched her nose as she tried to get her thoughts back. "I guess I didn't want to talk about how I hate not being your only one." There. She said it. It was out. Fuck.
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Post by drew adrian o'connel on Feb 12, 2010 3:17:43 GMT -5
Drew let the smoke sit in her lungs, not really exhaling, but letting a few breaths out at a time. The high was starting to wear off and reality was setting in. Here she was, dead of night, on the phone with Delaware, who was all the way in New York. What was she doing? This was insane. She wouldn't be doing this for anyone else but Del. Shit. Did she really just think that? Drew flicked her ashes into the tray, listening as Delaware told her end. "I don't know what to say," she finally said, mulling over her thoughts. It was true, there were so many thoughts running through her head that she couldn't organize a full explanation, much less tell Del what she was thinking. Her head hurt.
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